She woke up feeling defeated, her energy almost at zero, she has no desire to leave the comfort of her domain. She just wants to stay in the abyss she has dug for herself. She knows she cannot shut the world outside, she must, and she will have to leave her comfort zone. She cattily moves towards her closet to adorn her body with the clothes she would wear today.
She opens the closest and pulls out her first outfit of depression, fear, self-loathing, sadness, hopelessness, foolishness and hate. She is about to adorn her chubby body with the outfits from hell. She is momentarily forced to look at herself in the mirror. The woman with beautiful thick lips to die for, and rounded molded curvaceous hips like an out of this world goddess, stares back at her. Her eyes filled with tears, she cannot see herself clearly, and life has blinded her, to her true beauty. She does not feel beautiful, she thinks she does not meet society’s standard of beauty. She wipes away her tears, as she moves away from her closet towards the mirror. She is standing in her own space, the space that she alone can occupy, a voice gentle whispers, “You are beautiful and you are enough”.
She stands up straight like a soldier, ready for the battle field; she knows she has to be a soldier because she has to fight for her mere existence and the right to be who she wants to be in her space. She cannot be put in a coffin, she is not dead yet. The light in her that was forced to extinguish is relighting, fanned by her new found self, the flickers are birthing a new flame that will never be quenched. She confidently straws to her closet and removes those clothes from hell and throws them where the sun does not visit, the deep dark dungeon that she crawled out of into her light. Slowly her ambers are flickering, illuminating the almost dead ashes. As the soft wind blows, her ashes relight and the fire comes to life. She is here to stay.
Finally her heart and mind are in unison, she knows her name. She strolls to her closet to adorn her precious body with the most beautiful clothes designed just for her. She is wearing love, grace, hope, faith, happiness and excellence. True she has curves but all in exactly the right places. She is the woman she was born to be; she is here to fulfill her purpose and accomplish her dreams, her future looks wonderful. She is who she is supposed to be, imperfectly perfect. The sky is the canvas where she will write her story, just go ahead and read the first page. Curves and the City Issue 2 is coming soon.
Written by S. Pauline Zulu